Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
