oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
