i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize