Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
