My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
