Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
