And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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