Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
