and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
