I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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