Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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