Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
