I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize