the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The adults are the big ones right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
