that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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