She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
