i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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