**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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