it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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