Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
