Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This baby is an asshole
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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