Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
