You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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