Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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