i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
