Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
