You just made me feel so damn special
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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