I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
