then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
