i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
