Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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