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so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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