He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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