can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
