I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
