He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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