Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
