You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
