Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize