Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
