I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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