Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
