Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the day after is always just damage control
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize