I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she looked like the before picture.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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