shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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