just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
