Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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