Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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