Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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