Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
