I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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