i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
