his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
