this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
