I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
