oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
