The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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