At least make sure they are 18
Why
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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