I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
