I wanna bring you to show and tell
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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