dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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