all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
