You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
